How I love to have fresh flowers at the table. Every week.
But with that comes that dusting really is needed here. Often.*

How I love to see Peter enjoy his beschuit met hagelslag daily. And his visits to old friends..
But with that comes him missing his Wednesday morning buddies.

How I love to be able to walk and bike places.
But with that comes new challenges of having to bike with four kids. And teaching them to bike themselves.

How I love to see the kids enjoy school and making new friends.
But with that comes the pain of missing our fr-amily, school and their BFF’s from Austin.

How I love to be able to spend time with my sisters, our family. To see the kids play with cousins.
But with that comes the loneliness of being away from the people who knew us deep and loved us deeply over the past 6 years.

How I love to enter churches where we praise God together. Or as Zarah says -comforting and down to earth, as response to the anxiety of others about visiting a new church- “well, they all love Jesus!”
But with that comes the longing for what was home for so long.

How I miss the picnics at the creek.
The kids jumping the trampoline in the afternoon sun.
The door wide open to let the warmth fill the house.
How I long for summer, for light and for warmth on the cold, wet, dark days of March.

I knew that we would have to settle, that it would take time.
I knew that we would have to get used to new ways. New things. New rhythms. New expectations.
I knew life would change. We would change.

But I might have forgotten that change and getting-used-to sometimes is so hard, so lonely, so painful. So vulnerable.

How I miss the comfort of our old live. Our old home. Our old habits and routine.
But with that comes the hope of spring.

Don’t you see…
He’s making something new.
He’s making us new.

Spring is coming!

ps. This post is not meant to make you feel sorry for us. Just to give you a honest glimpse in the sometimes hard moments. I wrote this post a couple of days ago, the days were long, wet, dark. The past two days we have spend the whole afternoon in the sun! Playing hide and seek on the heathlands, climbing trees and drinking tea with family. We enjoy those moments to the fullest and know we would have never had that had we stayed in the comfort of our old place.
And the kids? They are sound asleep and will jump out of bed, early, in the morning, ready and excited for a new week at school! As Boaz said: “A very good place to start making new friends!”

*No the dusting and flowers are not related. Just that it has both to do with the house, maybe.