When everything changes

The country where you are resident
The house you live in
The car you drive
The way of transportation in general

When everything changes

The language you speak
The people you talk to
And what you talk about

When everything changes

The school your kids go to
The church you belong to
The neighborhood you are part of

When everything changes

How people dress
And the weather you have to dress for

When everything changes

The way you spend your time
And fill your days
What your week looks like
And how the months pass by

When everything changes, there is adventure. And hope. New beginnings and beautiful longing. Growth.

On Wednesday evening, we celebrated Eastern with the whole school. There was laughter, dancing, singing, drumming. Jumping-from-the-chairs kind of party.

On Friday evening, we remembered Jesus’ dead on the cross. In an honoring and solemn celebration of the Lords supper. Quiet-tears-on-your-face kind of moment.

When everything changes, there can be the feeling of purposelessness. Which leads to loneliness. Silence. Stagnation.

On the silent, dark Saturday, that followed that solemn Friday night, I found myself. Somewhere between all the changes. On the roof terrace of our new home. In a new city. A new land.
It was quiet. Real quiet.
Despite the cheerful kids playing below me in the yard.

Here in the middle of all the changes life often feels like a long, dark, lonely Saturday.
It is very easy for me to get lost in that. If I wanted to.
The known past -from before all the change- seems far away. I don’t always experience the present as an enjoyable adventure. The future does not always seem bright.

—

Sunday morning came.
The thunder and hail woke us.
I put the girls and myself a beautiful dress on.
Through pouring rain we make it to church (too late, some things don’t change…). Our dresses soaked.

The music plays a part of the Matteus Passion. Solemn, sober.
There is a girl dancing, expressing what Maria could have experienced that Eastern Sunday.

It is not sober at all!
Her face radiates hope. Unbelief almost. Excitement. Joy.

There I saw it. Not just with my eyes. But with my heart. The new beginning!
The change!
Hope. Beauty. Purpose.

—

Now everything changed, I get to see past my normal routine. My filled life. Into silence. Darkness at times.

I feel the aching of my soul.
I feel the longing for a home.
I feel the hunger for belonging.
I feel the wish for purpose.
I feel the desperate hope for restoration.

When everything around us changes, it can seem the solution to have everything fixed. Back to normal. Our own routine. Back to a filled life. Out of the darkness of the Saturday, into the full glory of the Sunday morning.

But that Sunday morning in church, my heart saw it. Anew.

I am made with that aching in my soul. That longing, the hunger. It’s not a momentarily feeling, which can be fixed by the circumstances around me.

The hope for restoration is turned from desperate to joyful. Knowing that there will be an even more glorious Sunday morning. With full restoration. Until than I am full of purpose. With the same aching, longing and hunger. But filled with hope.

Changed by the hope of that glorious Sunday morning I can make a home for others who long, because He makes a home for me.
Changed by the new beginning of that bright day I can include, love and connect with others who hunger because I belong to Him.
Changed by the beauty of that joyful moment I am looking forward to invite, encourage, affirm others who seek for purpose and hope.

When everything changes.

All will be new.
Past quiet, solemn Friday evenings.
Through dark and lonely Saturdays.
To bright and glorious Sunday mornings.

—

Maybe we should have a jumping-from-the-chairs kind of party. And invite our new neighbors.

Ps. I am sorry it’s been so quiet lately. Over three weeks ago, we got the keys to our new house. After a week we moved in. It’s still a work in progress. Between the painting and getting to know our new neighbors (and the way to the grocery store, ow and learning to bike with one kid on front of my bike and one on the back!) there was not much time left to write. Miss you guys. Tons!